Txting Avengers
by MisfitCarter
Summary: I got this idea from another author on here and I thought it's be fun to take a peek into the lives on the Avengers and what they text to one another. Thanks to IronSparrow99 for the inspiration! Will be marked as completed, but keep an eye out for updates.
1. Steve to Jack

[Soldier]

What are you doing?

[Doll]

ummm, sitting on my butt at home

what are YOU doing?

[Soldier]

Listening to Fury ramble.

It gets old, fast.

[Doll]

i know, sweetie

trust me, i know

[Soldier]

I didn't know one man could talk so much!

[Doll]

i know!

and i thought Tony talked a lot

but damn

[Soldier]

...He just caught me with my phone…

[Soldier]

Howlett! LEAVE ROGERS ALONE WHILE HE'S WORKING!

[Doll]

well damn

alrighty then

chatty patchy

[Soldier]

Fuck you, Howlett.


	2. Tony to Jack

[Tin Man]

whatcha dooooin?

[Sunshine]

what do you want tin man?

[Tin Man]

'm booooored!

talk to meeeeeee

pleez?

[Sunshine]

why?

i dun wanna talk to you

you're mean to me

[Tin Man]

but but but

you loooove me!

[Sunshine]

who the hell lied to you?

[Tin Man]

apparently U did!

mean ass

we aren't friends anymore

[Sunshine]

m'kay

oh! wanna hear somethin funny?

[Tin Man]

YES!

'm in a meeting

i need a good laugh!

[Sunshine]

Patchy the Pirate

caught Steve with his phone

and then yelled at me

via text

[Tin Man]

yyyy?

[Sunshine]

'cause i called him 'Chatty Patchy'

so, he more or less, told me to fuck off

[Tin Man]

*dying*

[Tin Man]

Jack, sweetie, this is Pepper.

Stop making Tony laugh in meetings. Please?

It's hard to explain and it's awkward.

[Tin Man]

But that is pretty funny.

[Sunshine]

sorry Pep

he was bored

and ikr?

[Tin Man]

pep is taking my phone

i'll see you at the tower

IRON MAN OUT!

[Sunshine]

whatever loser


	3. Thor to Bruce

[Thor]

MAN OF IRON HAS GRACED ME

WITH WHAT YOU MIDGARDIANS CALL

A CELL PHONE

[Banner]

oh god

y would tony give U a phone?!

and turn off the caps lock, Thor.

[Thor]

I AM AFRAID I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

WHAT YOU MEAN BY THIS 'CAPS LOCK'

[Banner]

see how ur words are big?

[Thor]

YES, MAN OF GREEN, I DO

BUT, IT SEEMS THAT I DO NOT KNOW

HOW TO CHANGE THIS SETTING

[Banner]

who r u with right now?

[Thor]

I AM WITH MY SISTER,

THE MIDGARDIAN WARRIOR

LADY JACQUELINE

[Banner]

ask her to show u

how to change ur big letters

i can't deal w/ this right now

[Thor]

Lady Jacqueline has shown me how to 'text'

correctly, man of green.

[Banner]

good. now i won't have a headache l8r

[Thor]

What is this 'l8r'?

[Banner]

…..have jack explain


	4. Clint to Natasha

[Clint]

whatcha dooooin?

[Nat]

r u watching Phineas and Ferb?

again?

[Clint]

….mayyyyybe

[Nat]

aren't u a little too old for that?

[Clint]

Yes. Yes I am.

[Nat]

go get some friends

i'm tired of being ur only friend

it gives me a headache

daily

[Clint]

ur not my ONLY friend

[Nat]

oh rlly?

[Clint]

….ok, so ur my best friend!

but i still have Jack!

[Clint]

nvrmnd. she won't txt me back :(

[Nat]

u'll live

[Clint]

ur not human, r u?

[Nat]

fuck you, Barton.


	5. Clint to Jack

[Shit Bird]

jayyyyyy!

[Shit Bird]

Jack!

[Shit Bird]

JACK!

[Shit Bird]

JACCCKKIIIIEEE POOOOO!

[Jay-Jay]

*sigh*

what do you want?

[Shit Bird]

u love me, right?

[Jay-Jay]

again

what do you want?

[Shit Bird]

i need a favoooor…

[Jay-Jay]

figures.

what is it?

[Shit Bird]

wellllll, Fury is trying to send me to Greece

for, something, i dunno

but u know that i dun like Greece

and u do

soooo…

[Jay-Jay]

what's in it for me?

[Shit Bird]

chocolate cake?

[Jay-Jay]

aaaaand?

[Shit Bird]

….

fine

i'll be the one to tell Rogers

[Jay-Jay]

that's what i thought.

okay. i'll do it.

[Shit Bird]

yay!

[Jay-Jay]

after you tell Steve

i need to have some entertainment before i leave

and watching him maim you

will be worth it

[Shit Bird]

…..fuck


	6. Steve to Clint

[Cap]

So. Jack told me that you

asked her to take your mission.

In Greece.

[Hawk]

...yessss

[Cap]

Is anyone going with her?

[Hawk]

nat is.

i think.

[Cap]

It's better than nothing.

But,

if she gets hurt, it's on you.

And I assure you,

you will never sleep again.

[Hawk]

w-why?

[Cap]

Because, you'll be looking over your shoulder

until I get my hands on you, and cause you

bodily harm.

[Hawk]

oh.

[Cap]

Yeah.

Just fair warning, Barton.

[Hawk]

gotcha.

now, if u need me,

i'll be finding hiding spots and

cap proofing my room

good day


	7. Tony to Bruce

[Science Bro]

whatcha doin, bruce?

[Big Green]

watching Steve threaten Clint.

its pretty funny.

[Science Bro]

hahaha! i watched the same thing

like, two hours ago!

[Big Green]

well, u know how protective Steve is.

especially when Jack is involved.

[Science Bro]

yeah. but the spider queen will be there too,

soooo,

they'll be fine.

[Big Green]

yeah. but we all just kinda worry about them.

we really worry when it's just the two of them.

[Science Bro]

big green! ur worried about spider queen?

and sunshine? rlly?

they'll be fine!

[Big Green]

that's not what worries me.

[Science Bro]

what?

[Big Green]

*sigh*

it's the fact that they're together.

alone.

[Science Bro]

so? ur point is?

[Big Green]

Tony, what do women usually do when

they get together?

[Science Bro]

talk about men and clothes?

[Big Green]

yes. aaaaand?

what do those two usually talk about?

[Science Bro]

i dunno

embarrassing stuff that we do and…..

SON OF BITCH!

[Science Bro]

those two are like, banned from

going out together!

they plot!

[Science Bro]

we have to stop them!

[Big Green]

can't. Fury is sending them.

[Science Bro]

we're doomed!

:'(

[Big Green]

more or less.


	8. Natasha to Jack

[Nattie]

so, u and me

in Greece

[Jackie]

yup. just like old times

[Nattie]

i think the guys are scared

especially Tony

[Jackie]

well, he did try to ban us

from going out together.

especially just the two of us

[Nattie]

lol

'cause that'll totally happen

never

[Jackie]

lawlz ikr?

think we should scare 'em a bit?

[Nattie]

well, Rogers already scared Barton

like, shitless

[Jackie]

xD i knoooow!

i told him that he had to tell

Steve if he wanted me to take

this mission

lol

[Nattie]

that was cruel

but totally funny!

[Jackie]

i think Steve and Brucie are worried

[Nattie]

well, i dun really blame them

it is us

[Jackie]

true.

all of the guys are scared right now lol

[Nattie]

as they should be lol

we are to be feared when we are together

[Jackie]

agreed

[Jackie]

shit. Steve is glaring at me.

[Jackie]

….he thinks that i'm plotting

[Nattie]

i thought we were

?

[Jackie]

well, yeah

but he dun need to know that!

[Nattie]

right

[Jack]

i think we should take Wanda and

Maria with us. that would scare the guys

shitless.

[Nattie]

yes!

[Nattie]

Bruce is glaring at me now

[Nattie]

i think Steve texted him

[Nattie]

Steve tattled

[Jackie]

i'm gonna kick my husband's ass

brb

[Nattie]

take ur time.

imma kick Bruce's ass

[Jackie]

m'kay

i'll talk to you later muh love

[Nattie]

alright.

later sestra.


	9. Thor to Tony

[Goldilocks]

Man of Iron. I thank you

for this wondrous device you call a

cell phone

[Man of Iron]

no problem Goldilocks.

and u can call me Tony.

[Goldilocks]

Tony. I have been able to,

as you Midgardians call it,

text my Jane.

[Man of Iron]

its nice, ain't it?

buuuut, as much i just love talking to u

i can't right now

[Goldilocks]

Why, Tony, can you not text

at the moment?

[Man of Iron]

well, Bruce told me that Sunshine and

Spider Queen are going on a mission

together. just the 2 of them.

not good.

[Man of Iron]

we're all trying to keep them from

going on this mission.

[Goldilocks]

But, lady Natasha and lady Jacqueline

are both strong warriors who can take fight

just as bravely as any man. Why would you

not want them to go?

[Man of Iron]

'cause, they plot.

they conspire against us men

and they laugh at us

and talk about us

[Goldilocks]

I see.

[Goldilocks]

Then we must stop them at all cost!

[Man of Iron]

that's the spirit buddy.

u can come to the lab and help us fellas

try to stop them

[Man of Iron]

and maim Barton while we're at it

[Goldilocks]

But, is the man with the eye of

Hawk not on our side?

[Man of Iron]

Barton is the one that convinced

Jack to go w/ Nat.

it's all his fault.

[Goldilocks]

I see. So, we shall stop lady Natasha

and lady Jacqueline and maim the man

with the eye of Hawk.

[Man of Iron]

that's the plan.

[Goldilocks]

Alright, Tony. Then I am on my

way to the lab as we speak.

[Man of Iron]

alright buddy. see ya in bit.

l8r.

[Goldilocks]

What is this 'l8r'? I still do not understand.

[Man of Iron]

i'll explain when ya get here buddy


	10. Bruce to Jack

[Brucie]

so, u and Nat are going on a mission together

in Greece.

[Jack]

yup. what of it?

[Brucie]

well, we're all a bit worried

[Jack]

because it's just the two of us?

or, because it's us?

[Brucie]

….both

[Jack]

i figured.

[Brucie]

can u blame us?

[Jack]

not really. i mean, we do plot

and talk about you guys.

especially you and Steve.

but it's all good things.

[Brucie]

y don't i believe u?

[Jack]

dunno

why don't you?

[Brucie]

'cause, it's u and Nat.

[Jack]

touche, my friend. touche.

[Brucie]

so, ur still going?

[Jack]

i'm not gonna say no to going to Greece.

plus, i already saw Steve threaten Clint like,

ten times. and it's still funny.

[Jack]

soooo, yeah. i'm still going. oh, and we

might take Maria and Wanda with us.

[Brucie]

i'm scared now. and i think the other guy is too.

[Jack]

you should be.


	11. Maria to Wanda and Jack

[Hill]

Wanna go on a mission?

[Wanda]

what kind of mission? and who will be going?

[Hill]

A mission with just us women. You, me, Jack, and Natasha.

[Wanda]

is this a ploy to scare all of the men?

[Hill]

Of course. Jack, as usual, came up with the idea.

[Wanda]

i like this idea. i will tell Pietro that I am going.

[Hill]

Alright. But do not tell him that we're all going

just to scare the men.

[Wanda]

of course.

[Jack]

Maria! you're horrible at texting!

[Wanda]

Jack?! what are you doing?

[Jack]

one of you accidently made it a group chat, sweetie.

i've been reading all of your texts.

[Hill]

What the hell do you mean by I'm 'horrible

at texting'?! I have this down to an art!

[Jack]

you're no fun when you text, honey.

[Wanda]

she has a point…

[Hill]

Fuck you both then.


	12. Phil to Jack

[Philly Cheesesteak]

soooo, i have a surprise for you!

[Lynn]

i hate surprises. you know that. so spill.

[Philly Cheesesteak]

well, where are you right now?

[Lynn]

in the lobby of the tower with my dad. why?

where are YOU?

[Philly Cheesesteak]

hi Logan! and, um, i'm also in the tower. by the way, do

you see a black duffel bag down there anywhere?

[Lynn]

dad said hey. and yeah. i dragged it in the elevator with me, why?

[Lynn]

is it yours?

[Lynn]

IS IT A BAG FILLED WITH YOUR CAPTAIN AMERICA

FAN BOY CARDS AND DOLLS?!

[Philly Cheesesteak]

piss off, lynn. and no, it isn't mine. it's a new team mates.

[Lynn]

who is it?

[Philly Cheesesteak]

*sigh*

it's Bucky Barnes….

[Lynn]

good. Steve will have his best friend back now.

but if he hurts my husband, i swear on all that he finds holy,

i'll make him wish that he was still in that HYDRA base.

[Philly Cheesesteak]

you're really protective of your husband, aren't you?

[Lynn]

Steve is just too precious for this world, sometimes.


	13. Bucky to Steve

[Jerk]

Steve.

[Punk]

Bucky.

[Jerk]

I'm confused.

[Punk]

What are you confused about?

[Jerk]

This texting thing.

What's the point in it?

[Punk]

Jack told me that it makes

communication a lot easier.

[Jerk]

Do people not write letters anymore?

Or, why not just call them?

[Punk]

Jack said that people use texting as a means

to hide their real words and emotions. She only texts

when she can't pick up the phone or when she's really

REALLY bored.

[Punk]

Or if she feels like annoying me or

pissing off Fury.

[Jerk]

Sounds like Jack.

[Punk]

Yup.

[Jerk]

So, how did the mission in Greece go for

her and the gals?

[Punk]

Well, she came back with a big smile on her face,

no new wounds -which is good-, and a tan.

So, I'd say it went well.

[Punk]

Plus, no one has been pranked.

Yet.

[Jerk]

About that….

[Punk]

….What did they do?

[Jerk]

Do you know how to get pink hair dye out?

And permanent marker off of my arm?

[Jerk]

I've tried to wash it all out with soap and water.

I even used a Magic Eraser that Stark gave me,

but nothing works.

[Punk]

I'm on my way.


	14. Jack to Fury

[Wolverine Spawn]

so, my mission went alright.

jus' sayin'.

[Chatty Patchy]

That's good, Howlett.

[Wolverine Spawn]

ya know, i've been married to Steve for a while now,

and everyone else calls me Rogers, but you.

why?

[Chatty Patchy]

Because, you're still the spawn of Wolverine.

That's why.

[Wolverine Spawn]

that makes no sense whatsoever.

buuuut, whatever wets your willy.

[Chatty Patchy]

Fuck off, Howlett.

[Wolverine Spawn]

but uncle Niiiiick! you loooooove me!

you cried for me!

[Chatty Patchy]

The fuck I did!

Nick Fury, does not cry.

[Wolverine Spawn]

that's not what Maria said!

[Chatty Patchy]

Go to Hell.

[Wolverine Spawn]

psh. been there, done that, and bought the t shirt.


	15. Tony to Steve

[Stark]

sooo, Spangles.

[Spangles]

What do you want, Stark?

[Stark]

well, if ur gonna be like that,

then i won't give u ur present.

[Spangles]

Present? Should I be afraid?

[Stark]

lol nope

[Spangles]

What is it?

[Stark]

well, i have been working on a way to

help you get even further integrated into

the 21st century.

[Spangles]

Okay. So?

[Stark]

do u wanna know what i came up with?

[Spanles]

I don't know.

Do I?

[Stark]

course u do!

[Spangles]

Alright. What did you come up with?

[Stark]

u need to do what almost every man does

at least once!

[Spangles]

And what is that?

[Stark]

u need to come with me and point break to a…

wait for it…..

[Stark]

STRIP CLUB!

[Spangles]

No.

[Spangles]

Jack would kill you. And me. And Thor.

So, the answer is no.

[Stark]

but yyyyy?

[Spangles]

What's the point in going to a strip club,

when I have a wife that looks like Jack?

[Stark]

did, did u, Mother Teresa, just make a dirty joke

about ur wife?!

[Spangles]

I guess she just has that kind of influence

over me.

[Stark]

i'll say!


	16. AN sorry guys

Hello my lovely readers! It is I! MisfitCarter! Yes, I am still alive. No, I have not given up on any of my fics! To make a long story short, things have been a bit of a mess right now, but, as I now have access to a computer, I can promise you more updates! Or, as many as I feel like doing without being too lazy. I have been using my phone as a means to keep writing, just not updating. So, many of my fics have chapters that need to be uploaded, while others have, truthfully, not been touched. Anyway, thank you all for so much support and love! You know that it means the world to me and I promise you all that I will update as many stories as I possibly can here in the next few weeks before I move! Thank you all again! Much love!


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